


The Sword and the Swordfish

by Chopped_Salad



Series: The Funky Gems Saga [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Edgy, F/F, Pearl's nose, Sword Fighting, Trippy, funky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:19:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9508658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chopped_Salad/pseuds/Chopped_Salad
Summary: Pearl fights with her nose.





	

“Today’s battle will be different,” Pearl explained. “I will show proper swordsmanship without using a sword.”

Connie looked at her teacher, brown eyes misting with confusion. What did that mean? 

“What do you mean?” Connie asked.

“I shall be fighting with my nose!”

WHAT!? How could Pearl do such a thing, it was impossible! Connie loosened the grip on her sword as she stared at Pearl, she had to explain! 

Pearl saw the look of confusion in her eyes and grew out her nose ten inches. “Now we are ready for a real duel!”

The battle scene music turns on and clouds push away, it’s just Connie and Pearl, the sword and the Swordfish. 

Suddenly, Pearl thrusts forward, Connie blocks the hit. She continues to hit yet Connie keeps dodging, she has never been so scared of a nose in her life.” What if I die?” Connie thought but shook it off a moment later, Pearl would never kill her!

###

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours, both were a sweaty mess. Connie heaved and chugged down her water as Pearl bandaged her nose, they wouldn’t stop until someone won. 

Pearl stood up and wiped her brow, “are you ready to fight me?”

Connie bounced on her heels, fully energized, “I am because I know I’m going to win!” 

Both pounced at each other, each move was hit harder than the last. Their battle was like a dance, two people interlocked with each other. Both staring into one another’s soul through their eyes, or Pearl’s nose in Connie’s case. They battled for hours, Connie could end it if she stopped BLOCKING!!!

Eventually Connie was cornered, Pearl’s nose was against her heart and only pressed more when Connie begged. Connie was officially terrified of Pearl’s nose now, her eyes widened; Pearl was going to kill her.

“Please don’t,” Connie whimpered.

“Too late!” Pearl almost seemed like she was joking.

Pearl plunged her long nose into her heart, blood splattered everywhere. Connie lost the battle and Pearl was ecstatic. She stood up, wiped the blood off her top, and then put her hand out to Connie.

“Good battle, huh?” no response. “Connie, my dear?”

Then Pearl realized, she was dead.


End file.
